Simplicity: Relationships

For the first look into how I am leading a more simplified life these days (for the back story on this click here) I am going to concentrate on one of the most important areas in my life - relationships. I am a very emotional and intuitive person and I get a huge amount of goodness from, but also suffer alot from relationships in my life. I have a full time job where I work day in and day out with teams of people internally in my company, and hundreds of clients externally. I am the sort of person that absorbs atmospheres and emotions from others without even knowing I am doing it, and that often on first meeting someone I find them telling me their complete life story: hopes, fears, loves and everything in between! In the past I have suffered from this very open personality trait, I have "taken on" too much of what I see and hear. And because every working day I have hundreds of tiny interactions with all sorts of people it's easy for me to end up feeling too much of other peoples "stuff", leaving me feeling drained, tired or  with a migraine. Not to mention I am an extremely emotional person myself too, so I have all my own "stuff" to manage as well! I read a book once around coping with stress and feeling overwhelmed and overburdened, that asked "If you only had a week left to live, what would you do with those 7 days? The answer to this is what is really important to you in life, and although you can't focus just on that all the time, it will show you where you should be directing the majority of your energy." For me that was an easy question to answer: I would spend it all with the people above. From the top, my Dad, my Mum (and me!), my fiance and my best friend. They are the sunshine in my life, they make me happy, curious and excited every day. Through their kindness, love and intelligence they make me a better person. So for me these are my core relationships, and although every day I have to interact with a whole variety of people, some whom I love and some.... well less so.... *wink* I make sure that I reserve time and energy, patience and kindness for these guys here, above all else. It's all too easy to have a hard time at work / feel unwell / etc and then take it out on the people that you love the most. Why is it such a common human trait to do this? So I try (and often fail, but always try again) to give respect to these people, they mean the world to me, and the least I owe them is loyalty, kindness and love in return, and FUN times of course! So when I have a crappy day, instead of venting to or at these guys, I stop - I go for a run, I have a bath, I have an hour on my own, I go through it all and out the other side and then I am in a place where I can reasonably talk my problem through, get some good thoughts and advice and the love and support I need, rather than blasting out all my negativity. It's a work in progress, they will all tell you there are times I am a right b***h, but hopefully those times are fewer and far-er in between these days!! (I hope!!) Additionally I make sure I devote time and thought and creativity to nurturing these relationships, understanding that all relationships change, grow and develop, I am always thinking about what else I can do to further deepen and strengthen them. It's as simple for me as always being there for them, but also sometimes as complex as putting yourself in the other persons shoes, and understanding that what might mean "showing love" to you, might not to them, and what can you do or say to  support and show love that is the most meaningful to them. That old adage that all relationships require work, I guess is true, but its not really work as much as effort I think. You do so much get out what you put in and then more so, so it's always worth going the extra step for someone you love, as not only is it wonderful to give love but also increases the likliehood that you'll feel it coming back at you :)


Photo wise, these are all portraits I have taken (except for me and Mum of course!) I then edited them in the "1960's" effect in Picasa, I love the effect - it looks very nostalgic with the muted warm colours and rounded corners, and like those boxes of faded family photos we all have tucked away somewhere!